1
00:00:04,522 --> 00:00:05,971
Haskell, there's something
wrong with my phone.
2
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,439
My emails are blurry.
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,308
Let me have a look-see.
4
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:11,276
Ah, I found the problem.
5
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:12,420
You're old.
6
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:14,863
You need glasses.
7
00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:16,065
What are you talking about?
8
00:00:16,066 --> 00:00:18,984
My eyes are perfect. They're just tired.
9
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:20,035
Phil, there's no need to get defensive.
10
00:00:20,036 --> 00:00:21,036
We're all getting older.
11
00:00:21,037 --> 00:00:23,622
Speak for yourself!
12
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,875
Shoot, I'm the same guy I was 20 years ago.
13
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,162
Hello. Check her out.
14
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:31,580
I haven't seen her here before.
15
00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:33,465
Maybe she's on a field trip,
and she stopped in
16
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,801
to use the potty.
17
00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:38,504
Someone's overcompensating.
18
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,222
Come on, Phil, don't you think
you're a little old for her?
19
00:00:40,223 --> 00:00:41,974
Why don't we let her be the judge of that?
20
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,475
Okay, but you might want to back off
21
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,680
if she yells "stranger danger!"
22
00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:48,897
So what do you want for dinner?
23
00:00:48,898 --> 00:00:50,482
Surprise me.
24
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,101
Do you hear us, Haskell?
25
00:00:52,102 --> 00:00:53,769
It's the same conversation every night.
26
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,437
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
27
00:00:55,438 --> 00:00:57,656
I don't know whether to scream
or jump off a bridge.
28
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:01,193
Surprise me.
29
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,444
Hey, guys, what's going on?
30
00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:04,947
I'm feeling unappreciated and ignored.
31
00:01:04,948 --> 00:01:07,833
Add "felt up on the subway,"
and you got my day.
32
00:01:09,253 --> 00:01:10,919
Can I get a glass of cabernet, please?
33
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,755
Uh, I'm gonna need to
see some I.D., pumpkin.
34
00:01:13,756 --> 00:01:18,177
I can't believe she is
questioning your age!
35
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,212
I know, right?
36
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,264
You mind if I see that?
37
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,552
[Whispers] Thank you.
38
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,553
How you doing? I'm Phil.
39
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:30,305
- Chloe.
- It's a pleasure.
40
00:01:30,306 --> 00:01:32,608
Uh, barkeep?
41
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:35,477
I'd like to order a libation, if I may.
42
00:01:35,478 --> 00:01:37,613
- Libate this.
- Ow.
43
00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:40,315
I'm sorry, I just got
off the phone with Tommy.
44
00:01:40,316 --> 00:01:42,734
We agreed to use a mediator
for our divorce,
45
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,486
and then he went and hired
some bozo lawyer!
46
00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:45,871
Now I need a bozo!
47
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,490
You've got one of the biggest right here!
48
00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:50,542
Ow!
49
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,544
I just meant that you're a great lawyer.
50
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:53,996
Holly is the best.
51
00:01:53,997 --> 00:01:56,298
If it weren't for her, I wouldn't
be where I am today.
52
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:59,918
Yeah, let's not pin all that on Holly.
53
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:01,303
No, I know she's great.
54
00:02:01,304 --> 00:02:03,505
There's just no way I can afford
such a pricey lawyer.
55
00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:07,009
The firm has encouraged us to
do some pro bono work, you know?
56
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,560
Represent the needy, the downtrodden,
57
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:09,728
the really, really sad case...
58
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,898
Yeah, forget it. I'm no charity case.
59
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:14,266
I charge $500 an hour.
60
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,018
Let's go back to the bono thing.
61
00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:17,519
I'd be happy to help you.
62
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,854
Why don't you come by my office
first thing in the morning,
63
00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:20,105
and we'll get started?
64
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:22,491
Thank you, Holly. I really appreciate that.
65
00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:24,326
No, don't thank me...
Feels good to give back
66
00:02:24,327 --> 00:02:26,695
to those who have fallen
through the cracks of society.
67
00:02:26,696 --> 00:02:29,698
All right, I'm broke. I get it.
68
00:02:29,699 --> 00:02:32,534
Hey, guys. I'll check you later.
69
00:02:32,535 --> 00:02:34,336
Turns out Chloe doesn't think I'm too old.
70
00:02:34,337 --> 00:02:35,454
As a matter of fact, she's taking me
71
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:36,872
to some of her favorite hangs.
72
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:39,258
I didn't know Chuck E. Cheese
stayed open this late.
73
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,594
That's funny. Anyone else?
74
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:43,962
Don't forget her sippy cup.
75
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:47,883
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Stuart?
76
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:50,219
Ah. Oh. It's too much pressure!
77
00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:52,137
[Grunts]
78
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,189
Something with gymboree!
79
00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:56,558
[Upbeat music]
80
00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:09,081
- Sync and corrections by brayanatsix -
- www.addic7ed.com -
81
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:13,375
Ah, look at you, behind a desk,
82
00:03:13,376 --> 00:03:15,544
all dressed up and professional.
83
00:03:15,545 --> 00:03:17,629
Eden, you put too much milk in my coffee.
84
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,215
Now I'm bloated.
85
00:03:20,216 --> 00:03:23,252
Yep, I got the world on a string.
86
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,754
Here, I'll walk you in.
Her Majesty likes it that way.
87
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,759
Holly, your 10:00 is here. Ah!
88
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,095
Did you offer our client any coffee or tea?
89
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:35,681
You said the pro bonos just get water.
90
00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:38,650
That'll be all, Eden.
91
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,319
[Clears throat]
92
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,521
Fancy schmancy office.
93
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,189
Look, you can almost see Staten Island,
94
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,024
where my life fell apart.
95
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,694
And that's why those windows don't open.
96
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:52,531
Your husband's attorney
sent over the initial proposal
97
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,249
for the distribution of assets.
98
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:58,954
Okay, so according to this,
we split the bank accounts,
99
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:02,758
proceeds from the sale
of the house, the car...
100
00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,209
- Whoa.
- Whoa what?
101
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:07,012
He wants the saltwater aquarium?
102
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,130
No way.
103
00:04:08,131 --> 00:04:09,848
I'm the one who scraped the algae,
104
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:14,019
changed the gravel,
created the whole pirate theme.
105
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,556
That's what you do
when you're not having sex.
106
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,975
Nicki, let me give you some advice.
107
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:22,394
A divorce can become like a battlefield.
108
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,946
My job is to take all
the emotions out of it
109
00:04:24,947 --> 00:04:27,149
so that you guys can work
out a reasonable settlement
110
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:28,784
and both move on.
111
00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:30,452
- Yeah, but still...
- No buts, okay?
112
00:04:30,453 --> 00:04:32,904
It's just about staying calm, rational,
113
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,740
not losing it over little things.
114
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,658
I mean, they're just objects...
Where's my pen?
115
00:04:36,659 --> 00:04:37,793
It's my favorite pen.
116
00:04:37,794 --> 00:04:39,995
Eden, did you take my favorite pen again?
117
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,246
Damn it!
118
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,131
Eden, do you know where the hell my...
119
00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:44,132
What is that?
120
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,917
Junk mail. You hate junk mail.
121
00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:47,135
I hate it more when you
hide things from me.
122
00:04:47,136 --> 00:04:48,795
- Let me see it.
- You don't want to.
123
00:04:48,796 --> 00:04:49,304
- Gimme.
- No.
124
00:04:49,305 --> 00:04:52,474
Don't make me hold you upside down again.
125
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,347
It's from the Central Park Lake House.
126
00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:01,683
"Dear Ms. Franklin, a little
reminder to put in your ear.
127
00:05:01,684 --> 00:05:03,985
In just six months,
your wedding day's here."
128
00:05:03,986 --> 00:05:05,520
[Gasps]
129
00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:08,440
Oh, my god, I forgot to cancel my wedding.
130
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,694
But you and Brad broke up two years ago.
131
00:05:12,695 --> 00:05:14,946
You would just be getting married now?
132
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:18,116
The lake house was my dream
place, so we agreed to wait.
133
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:21,203
Besides, I needed time to
make all the arrangements,
134
00:05:21,204 --> 00:05:25,207
and Brad needed time to sleep
with every woman in Manhattan.
135
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,342
You okay?
136
00:05:27,343 --> 00:05:28,343
Yes, of course.
137
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,961
Why wouldn't I be?
138
00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:31,880
Well, it's kind of a reminder
that you were supposed to be
139
00:05:31,881 --> 00:05:34,933
married in six months,
and now you're, you know...
140
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,852
Not?
141
00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:38,053
How little you know me.
142
00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:40,522
Who needs to be married?
I have a very full life.
143
00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:43,024
Yes, you do. It's overflowing.
144
00:05:43,025 --> 00:05:44,776
You've got your career, your friends...
145
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:46,361
[Gasps] Oh, hey, look!
146
00:05:46,362 --> 00:05:47,562
Here's your favorite pen!
147
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:48,730
Thanks.
148
00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:50,565
I'll use it to make a note to remind myself
149
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:52,617
to go down there and pick up my deposit.
150
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:53,735
It's found money.
151
00:05:53,736 --> 00:05:55,987
It's your lucky day. Lucky Holly!
152
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,874
I envy you!
153
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:02,077
It's gonna be a rough week.
154
00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:03,628
I've been thinking about what
you said, and you're right.
155
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:06,248
If Tommy wants the aquarium,
he can have it.
156
00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:09,668
Who needs a leopard shark
in a studio apartment?
157
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,636
You do.
158
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,839
What? But you said that...
159
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,424
No buts. I was remiss before.
160
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:16,892
I wasn't listening to my client.
161
00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:17,976
Something's gotta make up
162
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,895
for all your dashed hopes and dreams.
163
00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:21,012
I mean, you thought
you'd still be married by now,
164
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,013
and you're not.
165
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,014
Do you know why?
166
00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:25,734
Because Tommy's gay?
167
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,436
Well, that's the "why,"
168
00:06:27,437 --> 00:06:30,071
but that doesn't make up for all
the pain he's put you through.
169
00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:32,274
Yeah, but you said to keep the emotions out
170
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:33,492
and just to move on with my life.
171
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,243
What life? He's found someone.
172
00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:37,362
Who do you have?
173
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,447
I guess no one.
174
00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:40,165
Exactly.
175
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,534
No husband, no prospects.
176
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,871
A frightened woman alone
in a cold, uncaring city,
177
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:49,040
wondering if she'll ever meet
someone or just die alone.
178
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,794
- I don't wanna die alone.
- You're scared, aren't you?
179
00:06:52,795 --> 00:06:54,379
Well, I wasn't until a few minutes ago.
180
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,931
Now I'm terrified!
181
00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:58,800
- And who made you that way?
- I think you.
182
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,686
- No, Tommy did.
- You're right, Tommy did!
183
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:02,687
So who's gonna pay for it?
184
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:04,856
- He is.
- What are we gonna do?
185
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,943
We're gonna squeeze him
for every last dime he's got!
186
00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:10,278
Or in legal terms, we're gonna
gut the son of a bitch!
187
00:07:10,279 --> 00:07:12,614
Aah!
188
00:07:12,615 --> 00:07:14,816
[Chuckles]
189
00:07:22,328 --> 00:07:23,911
So what do you think of the hat?
190
00:07:23,912 --> 00:07:25,913
I found it in my closet.
191
00:07:25,914 --> 00:07:28,249
It belonged to my late uncle Lou.
192
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:29,550
He wanted to be buried in it.
193
00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:30,801
But hey,
194
00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:33,304
you choose an open casket,
you take your chances.
195
00:07:35,641 --> 00:07:37,591
Well, it looks ridiculous.
196
00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:40,678
There is no pleasing you!
197
00:07:40,679 --> 00:07:44,481
You said we were in a rut.
I'm trying to shake things up.
198
00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,267
Morning, boys!
199
00:07:46,268 --> 00:07:51,021
Uh, do you say "good morning"
when you haven't slept?
200
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:52,606
- You've been up all night?
- That's right.
201
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,074
Chloe and I went club hopping last night.
202
00:07:54,075 --> 00:07:55,776
Check this out... Hand stamp,
203
00:07:55,777 --> 00:07:58,829
hand stamp, hand stamp.
204
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,581
Well, two can play at that game.
205
00:08:00,582 --> 00:08:04,001
Mole, skin tag, wart.
206
00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:07,504
I told y'all, I'm no different
than I was 20 years ago.
207
00:08:07,505 --> 00:08:08,923
As a matter of fact, after work,
208
00:08:08,924 --> 00:08:10,090
I'm going directly to Chloe's house
209
00:08:10,091 --> 00:08:11,342
for a party. Ha!
210
00:08:11,343 --> 00:08:13,928
What's the theme, the little mermaid?
211
00:08:13,929 --> 00:08:16,130
[Laughs]
212
00:08:18,935 --> 00:08:20,801
Thanks, Holly. You've opened my eyes.
213
00:08:20,802 --> 00:08:22,720
I mean, I can't believe
I was gonna roll over
214
00:08:22,721 --> 00:08:24,104
and give him everything.
215
00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:25,522
Oh, we're not gonna give. We're gonna take.
216
00:08:25,523 --> 00:08:29,360
Take, take, take, take, take, take, take!
217
00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:31,312
Eden, could you fax this
to opposing counsel, please?
218
00:08:31,313 --> 00:08:34,982
Uh, that reminds me. I want
his fax machine too.
219
00:08:34,983 --> 00:08:37,284
- That's my girl.
- [Laughs]
220
00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:42,489
Hey, I've been watching
221
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:44,241
the way you're handling Nicki's divorce.
222
00:08:44,242 --> 00:08:46,794
Oh, no need to praise me now.
223
00:08:46,795 --> 00:08:49,797
Just save one big one
for the end of the day.
224
00:08:49,798 --> 00:08:52,466
Oh, what the heck? Give me a taste.
225
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:55,302
- I think it stinks.
- Excuse me?
226
00:08:55,303 --> 00:08:57,838
You know, Holly, I've always
looked up to you.
227
00:08:57,839 --> 00:09:01,225
What choice do you have?
228
00:09:02,595 --> 00:09:04,345
But for the first time
since I've been here,
229
00:09:04,346 --> 00:09:06,347
I'm ashamed to be working for you.
230
00:09:06,348 --> 00:09:08,098
What are you talking about?
231
00:09:08,099 --> 00:09:10,184
The lake house? The letter?
232
00:09:10,185 --> 00:09:12,102
You're upset about where you are in life,
233
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,654
and you're taking it out
on Nicki's divorce.
234
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:15,022
You could not be more wrong.
235
00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:17,408
I am merely representing
my client and getting her
236
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:19,526
everything she's entitled to under the law.
237
00:09:19,527 --> 00:09:21,078
All, might I add, pro bono.
238
00:09:21,079 --> 00:09:23,414
Oh, she's getting bono'd, all right.
239
00:09:29,589 --> 00:09:33,041
[Cell phone vibrating]
240
00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,632
It's Phil's.
241
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:42,267
I'd answer it, but that
would be an invasion of...
242
00:09:42,268 --> 00:09:44,720
Hello?
243
00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:47,439
Uh, no, this is his roommate Haskell.
244
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,890
Oh, Chloe!
245
00:09:48,891 --> 00:09:51,143
Uh, yeah, Phil must have left his phone.
246
00:09:51,144 --> 00:09:52,527
He's on his way to your party.
247
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:55,564
Oh, well, isn't that sweet?
248
00:09:55,565 --> 00:09:58,367
Is she inviting us?
Say yes, say yes, say yes!
249
00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:02,154
Uh, no, no, no, we're already
in for the night.
250
00:10:02,155 --> 00:10:04,373
No, no. That's nice.
251
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,992
That's awfully nice. No, no, no, thank you.
252
00:10:06,993 --> 00:10:09,411
What? Why did you say no? Why can't we go?
253
00:10:09,412 --> 00:10:11,496
It's 9:00 on a Wednesday night.
254
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:14,383
What are we, vampires?
255
00:10:20,257 --> 00:10:24,259
- So having fun?
- Yeah, it's a great party.
256
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:25,727
Just over here getting my snack on.
257
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,346
- Mm.
- These chips are amazing.
258
00:10:27,347 --> 00:10:30,349
Oh, I know. My
roommate Brendan's a freegan.
259
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:33,101
He just picked them out of
the dumpster this afternoon.
260
00:10:33,102 --> 00:10:36,021
[Inaudible dialogue]
261
00:10:36,022 --> 00:10:37,322
- Come on. I want you to meet him.
- Mmhmm.
262
00:10:37,323 --> 00:10:39,441
Brendan, this is Phil.
263
00:10:39,442 --> 00:10:41,109
- Hey, man.
- [Unenthusiastically] Hey.
264
00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:43,779
Brendan's kind of the reason
we're having the party.
265
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,247
He just went on unemployment.
266
00:10:45,248 --> 00:10:47,532
Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.
267
00:10:47,533 --> 00:10:49,501
I've been there myself.
268
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:51,703
Best thing for you to do
is just to get back out there
269
00:10:51,704 --> 00:10:52,921
and pound the pavement.
270
00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:55,374
Why would I do that?
271
00:10:55,375 --> 00:10:57,125
I'm getting a free ride for six months!
272
00:10:57,126 --> 00:11:00,545
- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah, free ride!
273
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:01,797
[Gasps] Oh, look, the pizza's here!
274
00:11:01,798 --> 00:11:05,017
Score!
275
00:11:05,018 --> 00:11:07,052
[Doorbell rings]
276
00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:12,891
Somebody's gay dads are here!
277
00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:15,694
You hear that? That's because of your hat.
278
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,562
Yeah, I'm sure the cardigan
and hostess gift
279
00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:19,981
had nothing to do with it.
280
00:11:19,982 --> 00:11:21,483
What are you guys doing here?
281
00:11:21,484 --> 00:11:22,901
Uh, you left this home.
282
00:11:22,902 --> 00:11:24,569
Chloe was nice enough
to call and invite us.
283
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:27,489
Oh, well, this doesn't really
look like your scene.
284
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:30,158
Oh, I dressed for a party,
and a party I will have.
285
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:32,461
All right, fine, but look,
this is a young, hip crowd,
286
00:11:32,462 --> 00:11:34,046
so don't do anything to embarrass me.
287
00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:35,714
Oh, of course not.
288
00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:37,749
Is there dancing?
289
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:44,639
[Knocking on door]
290
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,757
Take the clubs. Take the clubs.
291
00:11:45,758 --> 00:11:48,643
Oh, my god, what's going on, Nicki?
292
00:11:48,644 --> 00:11:51,563
You are gonna be so proud of me.
293
00:11:51,564 --> 00:11:53,932
I was at my old house,
picking up some clothes,
294
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:55,901
and I started thinking about what you said,
295
00:11:55,902 --> 00:11:57,936
about how Tommy dashed my hopes and dreams.
296
00:11:57,937 --> 00:12:00,489
Then I just started grabbing his stuff.
297
00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:02,657
No, Nicki, there's a legal process...
298
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:05,861
Yeah, look, look, I got
his baseball glove, his Xbox,
299
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:07,829
his favorite movie, 300...
300
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,614
A bunch of ripped, sweaty spartans.
301
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:12,868
How did I not know he was gay?
302
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:15,670
Anyway, remember what you
said about me dying alone?
303
00:12:15,671 --> 00:12:21,009
Not going to happen,
because I got Darla and Fancy!
304
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:22,844
- You stole his fish?
- Yeah.
305
00:12:22,845 --> 00:12:25,464
I tried for the shark,
but it bit through the net.
306
00:12:25,465 --> 00:12:27,716
- Sit down, Nicki.
- Okay, what's the matter?
307
00:12:27,717 --> 00:12:31,303
Um, there is a possibility that I may have,
308
00:12:31,304 --> 00:12:34,940
however unintentionally and
with no malice aforethought,
309
00:12:34,941 --> 00:12:36,274
speak English!
310
00:12:36,275 --> 00:12:38,276
I screwed up.
311
00:12:38,277 --> 00:12:40,529
I got a letter from the place
I was supposed to get married.
312
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:43,398
And it filled me with all
this rage and disappointment,
313
00:12:43,399 --> 00:12:46,451
and I took it out on your divorce.
314
00:12:46,452 --> 00:12:48,403
And you couldn't have told
me before I fishnapped
315
00:12:48,404 --> 00:12:51,239
Darla and Fancy?
316
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,576
I'm sorry. I'm a lousy lawyer.
317
00:12:54,577 --> 00:12:56,077
Look, I promise I'll call his attorney
318
00:12:56,078 --> 00:12:57,078
first thing in the morning.
319
00:12:57,079 --> 00:12:58,380
I'll fix all of this.
320
00:12:58,381 --> 00:13:00,332
Ah, look, I suppose you did me a favor.
321
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:02,968
I didn't realize how angry I was,
322
00:13:02,969 --> 00:13:04,553
and it kind of felt good to get it out.
323
00:13:04,554 --> 00:13:07,389
I guess we both need to accept
where we are and move on.
324
00:13:07,390 --> 00:13:08,807
Yeah, you're right.
325
00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:10,559
Look at us. Two women.
326
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,228
Two fish.
327
00:13:13,229 --> 00:13:15,814
Not a man in sight.
328
00:13:15,815 --> 00:13:19,518
How long can fish live
in those bags, by the way?
329
00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:20,602
Fill the tub. Fill the tub.
330
00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:23,021
I'm filling it. I'm filling it.
331
00:13:27,945 --> 00:13:33,532
[Grunting]
332
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:37,118
So, uh, doogie.
333
00:13:37,119 --> 00:13:39,588
Who do you have to burp to
get the Wi-Fi password?
334
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:42,374
We're getting it free from
the coffeehouse downstairs,
335
00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:43,542
but it has a time limit.
336
00:13:43,543 --> 00:13:46,094
Not if you bypass the router code.
337
00:13:46,095 --> 00:13:48,930
Awesome.
338
00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,932
Sweet lid. Vintage?
339
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:53,685
Dead uncle.
340
00:13:56,106 --> 00:13:59,107
Mmm, what a delightfully eclectic dish.
341
00:13:59,108 --> 00:14:02,527
Mmm, I'm sensing Mexican
342
00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:05,397
mixed with Indian.
343
00:14:05,398 --> 00:14:08,617
And what is that crunch?
It's almost like a waffle cone.
344
00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:10,035
You must tell me where you got it.
345
00:14:10,036 --> 00:14:13,405
Uh, I found this great spot
down an alley in Chelsea.
346
00:14:14,741 --> 00:14:16,491
You see, you see? That's what
I love about this city.
347
00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:20,328
There's a hidden
gastronomic gem on every corner.
348
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:22,464
Mmm, mmm! I can't get enough.
349
00:14:22,465 --> 00:14:24,749
If I'm not careful, I'll make myself sick.
350
00:14:26,553 --> 00:14:27,919
Oh, hey, man. What's happening?
351
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,888
Phil. James. What's going on?
352
00:14:29,889 --> 00:14:32,757
What's going on is we need
to get this party started.
353
00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:34,426
You know what I'm saying?
It's time to pump some tunes!
354
00:14:34,427 --> 00:14:36,928
- I hear you.
- Yeah.
355
00:14:38,849 --> 00:14:43,735
[Plays mandolin]
356
00:14:43,736 --> 00:14:47,072
Wow, you're like a medieval Hendrix.
357
00:14:49,943 --> 00:14:52,110
Hey, by any chance did you guys
happen to catch the score
358
00:14:52,111 --> 00:14:53,245
of the knick game?
359
00:14:53,246 --> 00:14:55,330
- No.
- Not really.
360
00:14:55,331 --> 00:14:59,084
I only ask because I represent
one of the players on the team.
361
00:15:00,754 --> 00:15:02,954
Okay, you dragged it out of me!
362
00:15:02,955 --> 00:15:04,539
I'm a sports agent.
363
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:07,042
Okay.
364
00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:08,043
Good for you.
365
00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:09,928
Yeah, it is good for me.
366
00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:11,680
So what do you do?
367
00:15:11,681 --> 00:15:15,383
What I do is not define
myself by what I do.
368
00:15:17,638 --> 00:15:20,055
Okay, well, then, how
do you pay for things?
369
00:15:20,056 --> 00:15:21,806
What, is money your
only benchmark for judging
370
00:15:21,807 --> 00:15:24,309
a person's value in society?
371
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:27,028
No, that's the landlord's benchmark.
372
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:30,699
You think you're better than us
because you have a "job"?
373
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,818
Uh, "yeah."
374
00:15:33,819 --> 00:15:35,287
All right, so you're a sports agent?
375
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:36,655
Yep.
376
00:15:36,656 --> 00:15:39,157
Brother, you're just a cog
in this corrupt system,
377
00:15:39,158 --> 00:15:40,992
pimping for overpaid athletes
378
00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:43,578
putting on a show
staged by the 1% to divert us
379
00:15:43,579 --> 00:15:44,913
from the real problems in this country.
380
00:15:44,914 --> 00:15:47,716
Mmhmm.
381
00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:49,584
Well, brother,
382
00:15:49,585 --> 00:15:51,836
this cog pays his taxes,
so skinny-jeans over here
383
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:55,006
can have an unemployment party.
384
00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:56,591
You sound like my dad, bro.
385
00:15:56,592 --> 00:15:58,510
Your dad sounds like a really smart man.
386
00:15:58,511 --> 00:16:00,428
Maybe you should listen to him.
387
00:16:00,429 --> 00:16:03,682
Did you just roll your eyes at me?
388
00:16:03,683 --> 00:16:05,150
Don't roll your eyes at me.
389
00:16:05,151 --> 00:16:06,935
Hey, man, just dial it down.
390
00:16:06,936 --> 00:16:08,186
Don't tell me to dial it down!
391
00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:10,488
I was busting my ass, delivering newspapers
392
00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:12,023
when you were just a gleam
in your daddy's eye!
393
00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:13,074
- Phil.
- What?
394
00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:15,110
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
395
00:16:15,111 --> 00:16:18,530
Grandpa boyfriend's having a meltdown.
396
00:16:18,531 --> 00:16:20,532
Well, stop yelling.
You're gonna ruin the party.
397
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:21,833
What party?
398
00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:24,035
There's no dancing. There's no music.
399
00:16:24,036 --> 00:16:26,087
Hell, you're serving food
out of the dumpster!
400
00:16:26,088 --> 00:16:29,124
[Gagging]
401
00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:32,677
You know, I thought you were cool, Phil,
402
00:16:32,678 --> 00:16:34,295
but now I think you better leave.
403
00:16:34,296 --> 00:16:37,048
I am cool, and I am leaving.
404
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:39,351
Stuart, Haskell, let's go.
405
00:16:39,352 --> 00:16:42,887
I had the Sushi. I had the Sushi!
406
00:16:42,888 --> 00:16:44,105
What are you looking at?
407
00:16:44,106 --> 00:16:46,307
What is up with your hair?
408
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:48,059
Pick a length and go with it!
409
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,361
All right? And, brother?
410
00:16:49,362 --> 00:16:52,313
Dump the baby guitar,
and bust a beat, all right?
411
00:16:52,314 --> 00:16:53,865
And you need to take off that ski cap.
412
00:16:53,866 --> 00:16:56,484
It's 95 degrees outside.
413
00:16:56,485 --> 00:16:59,404
Somebody give bill cosby some pudding.
414
00:16:59,405 --> 00:17:01,456
[Laughs] You know what I'm saying?
415
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,062
Hello?
416
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,446
If you're here for the wedding,
417
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,648
it's down the hallway.
418
00:17:12,649 --> 00:17:15,784
Oh, no, no, actually,
I booked the lake house
419
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,536
for my wedding, but it was called off,
420
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,122
so I just came to get my deposit back.
421
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,873
Oh, I'm so sorry.
422
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,909
Well, hopefully we'll
see you in the near future.
423
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,795
Oh, I don't think marriage
is in the cards for me.
424
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,081
Cats, maybe?
425
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,500
I'll get your check.
426
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,305
Oh, sorry if I startled you.
427
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:39,091
I just... I didn't want
the groom to see me in my dress.
428
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,092
You know, bad luck.
429
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,262
Oh, I'm familiar with that.
430
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,847
Congratulations. My god,
you look beautiful.
431
00:17:45,848 --> 00:17:47,516
Thank you.
432
00:17:47,517 --> 00:17:48,767
Would you mind holding this for a second?
433
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,769
Oh, sure.
434
00:17:54,358 --> 00:17:57,776
I can't believe I'm actually
getting married.
435
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,528
A year ago, I didn't even have a guy.
436
00:17:59,529 --> 00:18:00,579
Really?
437
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,164
Yeah. I'd almost given up hope.
438
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,284
It's amazing how much your life can change.
439
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,419
I mean, here I am!
440
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,454
- Here you are.
- [Gasps]
441
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:13,792
Well, the coast is clear.
I'm gonna need those back.
442
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,794
Of course.
443
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:19,131
I mean now.
444
00:18:21,135 --> 00:18:23,135
I'm getting married!
445
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,644
[Anxious panting]
446
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,646
[Gargling]
447
00:18:38,402 --> 00:18:40,986
- You're gargling with vodka?
- Yeah.
448
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:44,823
I have to kill the germs.
I ate dumpster fish.
449
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,158
You happy, Stuart?
450
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,460
You got out of your rut.
You shook things up.
451
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,463
You ate garbage.
452
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,664
Hey.
453
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,167
Hey, there he is, grandpa boyfriend!
454
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,337
Ha! You heard about that, huh?
455
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,755
Well, I learned something tonight.
456
00:18:59,756 --> 00:19:03,759
From now on, Phil chase is only
dating age-appropriate women
457
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:08,180
until I'm 70, and
then I'm going full Hefner.
458
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,181
Hey, guys.
459
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,932
- Hey.
- Hey, I talked to Nicki.
460
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:13,018
I am proud of you. That's the Holly I know.
461
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,853
Yeah, I got a little carried away.
462
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,104
A little carried away?
463
00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:18,856
Honey, you took a day trip to crazy land.
464
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,458
Okay, but I did go down to the lake house.
465
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:23,205
Hey, and you've got your deposit back?
466
00:19:23,206 --> 00:19:26,089
- No, I kept the date.
- Wait... What?
467
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:29,024
Congratulate me, in six months
I'm getting married.
468
00:19:29,971 --> 00:19:32,511
- You're getting married?
- That's right!
469
00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:35,823
- To whom?
- The greatest guy in the entire world.
470
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,226
- What is his name?
- I don't know. I haven't met him yet.
471
00:19:42,829 --> 00:19:39,627
www.addic7ed.com
472
00:19:39,677 --> 00:19:44,227
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